Happy Pride

It's been a bit since I popped in here, as a breather was in order to, you know, live. 

I'm proud of my daughter. She came out to me at age 19, which was a while back. She has loved women and men, she has married both (not at the same time, she is not polyamorous). She has three wonderful children who are her heart and soul, and they are proud of her and have always loved her. She's a great Mom! She really is the most resilient person I've ever known! But enduring trauma and teaching bullies a thing or two--oh yes, she is impressive at standing up for herself and others!--is not the reason I am proud of her. Being resilient isn't the reason. No, her resilience is an astonishing gift from her trauma-altered DNA--for which I am immeasurably, tearfully and deeply grateful. 

So many days--I cannot count how many times I thought, "One of these days, I am going to get one of those calls...when someone has to tell you that your child commit suicide." I have not had that thought in YEARS!!! She astonishes me time and time again--and not always in a way that I am equipped to appreciate, but I respect her, even when we disagree or her boundaries are not my boundaries--typical adult child/parent and mother/grandma tiffs. 

The main reason I am proud of my daughter is--oh, crap, I forgot. How old am I? Wait. It will come to me again. I hate when I lose my train of thought! It was so good, too. 🤣 THE MAIN REASON I AM SO PROUD OF MY DAUGHTER IS BECAUSE SHE IS AN INCREDIBLE PERSON.  

She is Kind. She is Beautiful inside and out--though she and I don't care about superficial beauty--truly, compliments like "you're looking good" fall off me like sand. Physical symmetry don't mean nothing to us. Where was I. (Yes, this is how our minds work.)

CHELSEA, you listen to your Momma, girl.  You is kind. You is smart. You is beautiful. 

It's the kindness, darling, about which I am most proud. 

And it's your courage to be yourself--you make it look so easy!!!  You make me laugh so hard sometimes. I know you're gonna be a great gift to those for whom you advocate--whether or not you get that law degree--I'm proud of your kindness and your courage, but girl, you listen to your Momma when I tell you, YOU MISSED YOUR CALLING.  

The stage at The Laugh Factory in Long Beach is calling your name.  And one of these nights, when there is an open mic, you are going to spring into action and understand, like a poem from a ... uno momento, the tincture has kicked in and I had to pop over to another tab to wiki slartibarfast ... why?  Oh yeah... 

You are so freaking funny, girl!  

And so perfectly naturally your perfectly human self.  

You are so well balanced.  You have adjusted your attitude how many times now?

You are ... I just love you, how you turned out, my little Peaches all growed up and just look at her!  Would you look at her go! Just out there, being her cute lil self and ZFG (before that was a thing) about what anybody thinks!  

You is KIND.  And THAT is why I am so proud of you because that is a conscious, intelligent, powerful choice. That is a mind-blowing drug. That is why Fred Rogers said kindness is the way to ultimate success--the only way, really, to ultimate success. 

You is KIND.  You is BRILLIANT.  You is F-F-FU-FUNNY.  And therefore so much fun.  

You are the reason people like me write things like this...

to be nobody but 

[pretty de miraculous]              

your                          self in a world 

which is doing its best           ]u]gh[t]most[

day  and  night 

to make you like everybody else 

means 

o m g   r  u  kidding me i cannot do t.h.i.s.

to fight the hardest battle 

which any human being can fight 

and never stop fighting

and that, dear daughter, is why

i

am

proud

of

YOU

for being

YoUz

.

.

.

does any of this make sense? am i...? people, am i a...uh...have i crossed a line of some sort?  do i belong in a home? where am i? where am i really? all. that. jazz. 🧉🍹🌿💚 💜💙💖💝💙💚 oops, did i i did the green heart twice   deja vu or ....rule 39...?

ciao babe

fts 

i'm da goin outtie here

you can't stop me

you can't make me

you can't prove nothin--i dont gotta do nuttin

what was i saying? 

$#*^

how chilled am i ??? 

Disclaimer: Yes, I work at RedHat.com and no, I do not need their permission to publicly express my appreciation for of how we are responding to the cries and the visceral need to heal our land by loving one another as he loved us. And how do we know he wasn't a she or a they or a fae? Oh dear Lord. We don't understand one important thing about you, Jesus! Can we please stop stigmatizing everybody over everything that slightly itches when I wanted a scratch. Good grief. People. You need to calm down.  I just--can you please just not? Thank you.

Why, you ask?  Because I'm an old lady and I can say what I want.  Early Alzheimer's.  Call it what you like.  It's cute like cotton candy looks like something fun to eat, but is it really? .