first writing coach

Tish was a beautiful elder. She had worked many years in film and television production as a story editor, and also advertised services for hire. Carma called on her for guidance in rewriting the first draft of The Ills of Saardu. This would be 1986-87 timeframe. 

Tish cautiously accepted the task of reading Carma's work. "I feel I should warn you that I just finished reading an author's work of a lifetime," she said on the phone. "It's a book titled Lonesome Dove." Tish was concerned that it would be difficult to be objective about reading a young author's first draft. 

Carma drove to Tish's home in the west side the San Fernando Valley. They exchanged few words as she dropped off the manuscript and a check. 

A week later Tish called. "Carma, I couldn't wait to call you. You, my dear, have arrived!" She sounded out of breath. Carma was confused. What did she mean by that? "As I mentioned to you, I was afraid that because I had just finished reading a great book, that I would not be able to read your work objectively, but I started reading and I couldn't put it down. It's wonderful!" 

"Really?" Carma could not believe what Tish said. It was nice to hear, but it did not seem real. "Really?" she asked again.

"Yes. Yes!" I love it. 

"Really?"

"Yes. Your writing is beautiful. And I do have some notes for you because I think that the real story begins with the humans who are on their way to the planet. I think you should start with that. And I have made some other notes for you, we'll talk when you pick up the manuscript." 

Carma would start over, typing Page 1 beginning with the story of the humans in the spaceship. She would retype the entire book, integrating Tish's notes, but along the way, Tish's husband fell ill and she had to devote her time to caring for him. They were 80something. Carma thanked her for her help and encouragement, and they parted, never to see each other again. 

The revision was completed. The dreamer moved again. She met Tim. He read it, shared his copy with family and they passed it around until it got lost. Nobody knows where Tim's copy of that version is today. Carma's copy was trashed. Long story, maybe later. Patty only had a copy of the first draft of The Ills of Saardu, and mailed it to Carma in 2010 so that she could publish it as a historical record. 

Carma's relationships were tumultuous 1988 to 1991. She moved from the San Fernando Valley, married, divorced, moved to Ventura, married, moved to Houston, divorced. Her long lost birth daughter contacted her in 1991 and they reconnected briefly in April, her 14th birthday. Her adoptive parents decided afterward that communication should stop until she became an adult, and Carma accepted their decision. 

When she returned from the visit, she decided to try a new approach to getting Saardu to the public. Queries to publishers and agents were fruitless. She would write the Saardu movie.

In 1991, Professor Richard Walter would propel Carma on her journey into the center of herself. He would read her first screenplay. 

The student regrets she did not get a photo of Tish, nor remember her last name, nonetheless memories of Tish are dear to the writer she coached.  Were it not for Tish's words of affirmation, the excitement and enthusiastic prodding and guiding...the teacher's obvious joy over having a gifted female writer cross her path, and to get to be the one to help build her up. Typical of writers, Carma was insecure, introverted, intensely cerebral, and probably came off a little strange to average socialites. 

Tish was comet whose spirit, encouragement and wisdom continue to orbit Carma's headspace. 

Carma would not have had the courage and hope strong enough to write a letter to the professor of screenwriting at UCLA, whose textbook she studied on her own, and followed to the last detail as best she could.  She would not even dare to imagine showing such a teacher her first pass at writing a movie script. It's not as easy as margins and "show, don't tell". But she did dare, she did dare to write that letter, describing how helpful his book had been, that she had completed her first screenplay and wondered if he might be willing to take a look at it. 

Remember when that comet got pulled too close to Jupiter? Yeah. It was like that. Screenwriting. Carma says it's positively addictive. More about that later. 

Copyright 2022 © The Carma Y. Simonsen 2016 Living Trust

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The writer hopes sharing this journey lights the way for the next gen.